Your goodbye

“All of Me”

Billie Holiday

written by Gerald Marks and Seymour Simons (1931)

All of me
Why not take all of me
Can’t you see
I’m no good without you

Take my lips
I want to lose them
Take my arms
I’ll never use them

Your goodbye
Left me with eyes that cry
How can I go on dear without you

You took the part
That once was my heart
So why not take all of me

All of me
Why not take all of me
Can’t you see
I’m no good without you

Take my lips
I want to lose them
Take my arms
I’ll never use them

Your goodbye
Left me with eyes that cry
How can I go on dear without you

You took the best
When I take the rest
Baby, take all of me

Thank you for everything, Dr. Hilton Goulson. A friend and a teacher to the end, you’ve made me my best. “Bicycle.”

Southern trees bear a strange fruit

“Strange Fruit”

Billie Holiday


Fine and Mellow

"The Death of Troy Davis" - The Atlantic

Southern trees bear a strange fruit
Blood on the leaves
Blood at the root
Black bodies swinging in the southern breeze
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees
Pastoral scene of the gallant south
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth
The scent of magnolia sweet and fresh
Then the sudden smell of burning flesh
Here is a fruit for the crows to pluck
for the rain to gather
for the wind to suck
for the sun to rot
for the tree to drop
Here is a strange and bitter crop



I cried so hard tonight that I vomited.

“we dig dig dig dig dig dig dig in our mine the whole day through”


Since I apparently can’t locate a source for this song on its own (in the US), here’s the Levi’s commercial that got it stuck in my head.

UPDATE, Nov 24: Found a link to the song featured in the Levi’s commercial.

Heigh-Ho (The Dwarfs’ Marching Song) – Original

Bunny Berigan & His Orchestra



Levi’s Commercial:


Want an MP3 version? Try using with the first video.


At this point, I feel I should mention that I have absolutely no memory of making my last post. Probably because I was, in fact, “totally wasted on Versed,” which is what they used to sedate me while they stuck a tube down my throat on Friday. It would be nice to be that way again. Sedated, that is — not with a tube down my throat.


The Ramones

so did they

Endoscopy was normal (as expected), but I’m having new pain right around the Bubble of Doom on my liver, so that means more doctor time this week. It’s weird to notice a new substantial pain and think, “Hey, this is awesome!” since it might mean there could finally be enough information to explain why I feel like I have a knife in my abdomen.

Plus, every time I need blood work, one of my best friends from high school ends up drawing it, and we get to talk about the baby she’s having… and it blows  my mind that she’s having a baby (she’s going to be an awesome mom). Coincidentally, she found out she was pregnant a week before I came in to get my Depo shot.

That was fun, because the pregnancy test I took right before getting the shot came back as a false positive, and I was in the middle of a “wtf is going on” moment when aforementioned friend realized what was going on and came in and helped me through the “holy wtf, how is babby formed?” moment, while it lasted.


How is babby formed?

actually, no, not "truely sorry for (my) lots"

I should note here that every Father’s Day, I get Mark a “Happy Not Father’s Day” card. We’re not looking into the whole reproduction thing right now — at all — so it’s something to celebrate.

Aaaanyway. The procedure on Friday was my second upper endoscopy, and I can now say with confidence that the sensation that you’re choking on a long metal tube, Matrix-style, is not pleasant at all — nor does it get less disturbing after you’ve experienced it once. I started hallucinating as they finally got enough Versed in me to knock me out (tolerance is high with my other medications) — I saw two squirrels fighting on a table next to me, and I think I said something about it to one of the nurses. I remember that as the high point of my day. Pun intended.


Battle Squirrel

brought to you by: powerful sedatives

The next thing I remember is trying to pull the tube out of my throat because I had just woken up in the middle of the procedure, and a doctor and a couple nurses were trying to get me to chill out while they pumped enough Versed in me to kill a horse. It just put me back to sleep, which means I am clearly more robust and lively than a horse.

Versed has a tendency to supply a bit of amnesia after the it’s run its course, so I don’t really remember this, but apparently I really wanted to go to the grocery store as soon as they decided I was ready for my mother to drive me home. This makes some sense, as I had been fasting since the previous evening and there wasn’t much for me to eat at home. I think I remember trying to describe myself as a Hungry Hungry Hippo.


"Honestly, I was never that hungry hungry."

I have this shirt somewhere. I am not pictured here, however -- don't get confused.

I must have been really obnoxious about my desire to visit the store, though, because I did end up with a lot of food. I vaguely remember being in the parking lot of Harris Teeter beforehand. I think I was stumbling around and slurring my words, and my mom might have said something about me seeming intoxicated and that it may not be the best time to go grocery shopping… that’s all extremely likely, at the very least. She dropped me off back at my house, I think I ate a couple chocolate chip cookies, and then I passed out hard on the couch. I think Mark had already been home for a while before I woke up.

That said, nothing else new or interesting is really going on. I’ve been playing retarded games on my phone a lot, and wondering why I didn’t think to inquire about sick time when I got my job. It’s a new company, so there isn’t any — so, that translates to the elimination of my tiny savings account over the past two months. I’ve yet to go into credit debt, but at this point it sort of just seems like a matter of time. Thank god I made myself get an extremely low credit limit.


Discover card

Does anyone actually own one of these? I've never seen one in the wild.

The whole economy/health care system thing sort of sucks right now, as it turns out. Who would’ve ever seen THAT coming??






“when the living is easy”


Miles Davis


Album: “Porgy and Bess

From: “Porgy and Bess” (1935)

Written by George Gershwin and DuBose Heyward