So, I checked my blog’s stats…

And, oh, hey internet, apparently you will click on links containing the word “boob” — I should’ve known. 😛

Could you take my picture? Cause I won’t remember…

“Take a Picture”

Filter

1999

Title of Record

I had the hardest time figuring out what the hell this song’s lyrics were when it came out. In middle school, I took a shower in the evenings during the top 20 countdown on my local mainstream radio station, and I’m not sure if it was the running water or Richard Patrick’s mumbling, but I swear I didn’t learn the actual lyrics until maybe college.

Examples:

“Awake on my airplane” –> “Away on my airplane” or  “Wake on my airplane” or “I wake on my my airplane” or “Cake on my airplane” or “Wake on my ‘ohrploon'”

“My skin is theirs” –> “My skin is there”

“I feel like a newborn” –> “I feel like a new boy” or “I feel like  a new boy” or “I feel like a new ‘bohhhwwwww'”

“Could you take my picture? –> “Could you wanna take my picture?” or “Do you wanna take my picture?”  or “Could you, uh, take my picture?” or “You wanna take my picture” (I still think there’s too many syllables between “could you” and “take”)

“Your prophecy” –> “‘Improvisy'”

“Should not be left alone” –> “Should not be left along” or “Should not be left ‘along-a’.”

“Hey, dad, what do you think about your son now?” –> “Eyyy, daaaah, wayoothinabowyer suhnoooowwww?”

That last one made me confuse Filter and Pearl Jam and even Creed for a short period of time. Eddie Vedder has marbles in his mouth and Scott Stapp just has invisible diarrhea flowing freely from his mouth.

YASSEAH!

I suck.

Okay, so it’s been over a month. Things have been a little ridiculous. I managed to deal with another random illness and subsequently recovered from said illness, had a friend pass away and somehow managed to speak at her funeral without breaking down into hysterics, celebrated my parents’ 30th wedding anniversary, and one of my close friends is getting married next week so we’ve been doing wedding things. I also completed a freelance project that will hopefully help me pay off my credit balance, my bills, and even help me buy groceries. At the very least, it’s been a productive month.

You’re probably used to me sucking at posting, but that’s why it’s been a while. Every time I had a good song to share, I always seemed to completely lack the time and resources to share it with you. In short, I suck and I will continue to attempt to suck less.

“I Steal Pets”

Rachel Bloom

2011

“well, fuck you and all that jazz as we fall down”

SO, I had surgery six days ago, during which I delivered an bouncing 23-year-old gallbladder that needed to die in a fire. I am on all sorts of medication for pain and nausea and gastrointestinal battles.

Then, a couple days ago, I was put on antibiotics for bronchitis, “walking” pneumonia (emphasis on the “walking” because I cannot actually do much of that), and a soul-crushing cough that probably kills kittens. Now, I have a completely different cold that is evacuating all the snot from my nose.

This is all happening at the same time. Oh, also, a brand new contact broke right after I put it in my eye. My body does not know WTF and neither do I, so I got three songs today. Morning, afternoon, evening. Have a blast — I’m going to take more stuff that turns me into Droopy Dog (1:12).

 

I  think this first song accurately depicts my attitude to my immune system right now.

Fuck You!

Cee Lo Green

2010

The Lady Killer

 

I think the context of this applies, as well. After telling my body to go fuck itself, much like Velma Kelly killed her sister and boyfriend, I decided to dance around like I’d pretty much won and just didn’t care anymore.

All That Jazz

Catherine Zeta-Jones

2002 (original: 1975)

Chicago: Music from the Miramax Motion Picture

 

And finally, this is my Waterloo.

Going Down

The Rayees

sometime between 2007 and 2009

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“it’s a piece of cake to bake a pretty cake! WHAT? if the way is hazy, HEY! you gotta do the cooking by the book; WHAT? you know you can’t be lazy! YEAH!”

“Cooking by the Book (A Lil’ Bigger Mix)”

LazyTown (Julianna Rose Mauriello) / Lil’ Jon

Mastgrr

Mashup of

Cooking by the Book” (LazyTown, 2005)

and

Step Yo Game Up” by Snoop Dogg ft. Lil Jon and Trina (R&G [Rhythm & Gangsta]: The Masterpiece, 2004)

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“Stop calling. Stop calling. I don’t want to talk anymore.”

Telephone” (Cover)

Lady Gaga / Performed by NPR personalities

2009 / 2010

The Fame Monster (Lady Gaga)

This is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen. As a kid, I always though Robert Siegel‘s last name was “Seagull.” I love him so much. I love NPR in general, though.

“just to get it all out, what’s in my head”

“What’s Up”

4 Non Blondes

1992

Bigger, Better, Faster, More!

Bonus video:

I He-Rolled my fiancé early this morning. Clear cause and effect.