Why are laws a thing you can buy?

“The Day the LOLcats Died”

LaughPong, performed by Chris Parker

2012

Life’s too short, so love the one you got.

“What I Got”

Sublime

1996

Sublime

Do you believe in something beautiful? Then get up and be it.

FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS

Absolutely shameless marketing of proto-portfolio:

www.saritate.com

( ^ click that)

Also, this:

“Me and Mia”

Ted Leo & the Pharmacists

2004

Shake the Sheets

He gets up from his chair and he strikes her on the face

“Woman Go”

Joe Purdy

2003

Stompingrounds

This is ourselves — under pressure.

And now the actual song I woke up with today:

“Under Pressure”

Queen & David Bowie

1981

Hot Space

I watch that show with vampires and hookers, and…

“Compromise”

Jennifer Teeter

2010

Ukulele Whore

In sixth grade, my two best friends in the whole world decided that they liked Pokemon… a lot. One of them was mostly into Sailor Moon and Pokemon fanfiction, before fanfiction was so frequently super creepy and weird. If I recall correctly, they didn’t really play the game, but they just kind of got involved in the whole “world of Pokemon” in their own (more creative) way.

Though the basic concept of Pokemon was actually pretty interesting to me, I wasn’t quite as interested. I would rather create my own mythical animals — though, had I been male and/or a couple years older, this would have put me dangerously close to Dungeons & Dragons territory. Somehow, I skipped all of it and later on I just ended up dating guys who played D&D.

I don’t know if I was too picky or fickle or less-full of child-like wonder at that point, but my failure to familiarize myself with Pokemon became a dangerous issue when it came to my rare friendship that involved three girls on equal levels of respect and closeness. No one was a third wheel, but suddenly I realized that if I didn’t find some way to integrate into the Pokemon thing, I knew I’d become the “extra” friend. This had nothing to do with how much the three of us liked each other; it was all just a matter of three 11-year-old friends sharing a common interest.

Knowing that these girls were otherwise fun and smart and just generally worth it, I made sure to do all I could bear to keep up. The cartoon came on at 6 AM, so I was up every morning for that — despite the fact my body had just hit the “wtf is ‘morning'” teenager mode. I usually managed to stay awake, and as a result of doing extra research online, I could normally follow the plot without entering an anime overload coma. As it turned out, it was somewhat fortunate I did watch the cartoon, as it helped my doctors rule out epilepsy when I developed POTS and secondary RAS three years later (i.e., I pass out and have pseudo-seizures).

I’m going to give myself some serious credit for dedication during that Pokemon era. I spent hours online trying to memorize which Pokemon turned into what (fortunately, I only had to deal with 151 Pokemon back then) and exploring the interpersonal relationships of Jessie and James. At times, I’d use the knowledge I’d gleaned to irritate my friends — often claiming my favorite Pokemon was Mr. Mime, Snorlax, Slowpoke, and/or Chansey — depending on my mood. We kept a journal between the three of us, in which my friends would mostly discuss Pokemon until I finally contributed a purposefully stupid-looking drawing of one of my “favorites” or I wrote “PIKACHU” over and over for several pages. It did irritate them from time to time, but I think they must have formed some sort of respect for my attempt to stay in the loop. I hated the show (though I kept that to myself), and the influx of anime and Japanese pop culture really began to irritate me. It could have just been resentment in the end, but to this day, there are even emoticons that make me want to punch a Pikachu. :3 and ^_^ , for example. But damn, I was committed to that friendship.

By the end of 8th grade, they’d both lost interest in Pokemon, so I was able to begin sleeping later and become the very angsty, dramatic, stubborn, moody teenager I was destined to be up until I was about 16 (god, my poor parents). At some point during high school, I started to get away with mispronouncing Pokemon as “PO-key-mon” instead of “po-KEH-mon,” as I’d learned in middle school in order to feign ignorance.

It all turned out to be worth the effort, because I’m still friends with both girls today, and the three of us ended up being the base of a large circle of friends that developed through high school. But man, anime… that’s always going to be a list of things I just don’t get.